The Serpent's Sales Pitch.
Hello, my name Lucifer Devlin. I represent the Serpentine Bank and Credit Association of America. Are your parents at home? No? That’s okay. I am here to see you anyway. Let me see, your names are Adam and Eve Sinless, Right?
I know what you’re thinking. BEWARE OF STRANGERS!
Don’t be alarmed I am your friend. I have a gift for you!
I know that pretty soon you’ll be attending the Tree of Knowledge University and you’ll need a little cash when you’re on your own.
My employer is willing to issue to each of you a credit account in your names. You will have unlimited credit to purchase anything you want! And there are no strings attached! All you have to do is pay a small sacrificial payment once a month.
Just sign on the dotted line.
What’s that you say? Your parents provide you with everything you need?
Hmmm. That may be true but the world is a much larger place than your home here at 123 Eden Lane. (By the way that's a nice garden you got there.) What if an emergency arises while you’re at school? My employer’s credit card is recognized in 50 gazillion establishments around the world. And while your Father may give you everything you NEED, what about what you WANT?
No, I am sorry, you won’t be able to tithe with the card. But Serpentine Bank has been making some inroads in that regard. Churches are now accepting our ATM's in their lobbies.
Just sign right here. What was that? Please repeat the question. What about the contract?
Boy, you have a lot of questions! The terms of the contract are irrevocable and intractable.
Oh, don’t be scared. It’s not like you're selling your soul or something. Just call it “indentured servitude”. A mild form of financial slavery, you might say.
Well, are you gonna’ sign up? You’re gonna’ wait? Wait, for what?
Your Father will be coming home soon? Any minute?
Sorry kids. I gotta’ go, catch ya’ next time.
©2006 Richard C. James